How to win at any buffet

Ready to go home a winner?

It couldn't have been any clearer.
As diners settled in to plates packed with deliciousness, the rookie mistake rose above the clatter of silverware and soft conversation.

Sausages instead of THIS?
That, my friend, is
a classic rookie move.

Across the room, a stunned father tried to set his pre-teen son on the proper path, and it took all I had not to give the man a standing ovation: "What are you doing getting so many sausages? There's prime rib!"
See, that guy gets it. When on the battlefield of a buffet, there is but one goal: victory.
Simply put, you want to leave having eaten food worth more than the entry price, while also making your belly salute what went down.
As a veteran of buffets large and small, I'm here to help you strive for greatness. And almost anyone can reach the promised land.